It has been weeks since I've slept well; as of this minute I am running on 4 hours of sleep over the past 40 hours... I have tried the sound of rain, the news, exercise,and a boring book. I have finally given up and am listening to a wonder mix of rock,blues and country music that spans several decades and genres.
From Adele and Joe Cocker to The Band, John Anderson,Coldplay and Guns and Roses; the words rushing through my head and heart bring back memories of days long ago or stir in me feelings of longing for dreams lost, trips not taken and people long gone. They make me want to fly west to see Dawn, time travel back to high school, hug my daddy one more time and hold my babies now grownup...
As the first notes of More Than a Feeling come out of the phone I am drawn back into the arms of my young husband and the lazy days of youth spent laughing and traveling the country with friends and family from job to job. Frank, me and three kids in a Pumpkin orange Ford Fiesta on the way to Connecticut and a new life... Chasing dreams, looking for a future. Where did the time go?
The haunting voice of Zola Jesus weaves around me in the still and silent night of the house my parents built dreaming of joyous days of family gatherings and growing old together; another dream lost but found as I pass along their memories. Chasing dreams is hard work. I am weary but content to listen and remember and let The Band take me back to long, long ago.